Friday Funnies: Taxes are "Funny" Business

These are sorta funny...mostly sad, sad truth. But if you can't laugh this time of year...you just wanna cry! I prefer wry laughter to dry tears.

John F. Iekel
The term "tax humor" is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code.

Milton Berle
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Tom Lehrer
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Vanya Cohen
When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation.

Will Rogers
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Ronald Reagan
The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.

Robert A. Heinlein
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

G. Gordon Liddy
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Thomas Jefferson
The same prudence which in private life would forbid our paying our own money for unexplained projects, forbids it in the dispensation of the public monies.

Will Rogers
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
It would be a hard government that should tax its people one-tenth part of their income.

Dr. Laurence J. Peter
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Milton Friedman
Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay.

Benjamin Tucker
To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

Albert Einstein
[on filing for tax returns] This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.

John S. Coleman
The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.

Austin O'Malley
In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.

Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Winston Churchill
There is no such thing as a good tax.

Will Rogers
It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.

James Madison
I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents...

Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Robert A. Heinlein
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

Arthur Godfrey
I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money.

H. L. Mencken
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Ronald Reagan
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

Jay Leno
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag.

Michael McShane
I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

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Friday Funnies: Taxes are "Funny" Business

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